It’s never dull with Saturday Spartans…

I said Ma On Shan 1pm would be problematic but never could we have imagined it would turn into the farce it did. We turned up with the bare 11 including with a plethora of midfielders and no strikers lining up in a 4-1-4-1 formation…

H-Gab Jim Laurence Sean – Luca – James Rob Nick Piero – Joe (c)

After a minutes silence for the much loved Alan Amies we started poorly. The only plus point being how bad DBFC were – they were truly appalling but with key players out of position and and others not wanting the ball we lacked any drive going forward. What actually happened in the first half? Not much to be honest. A bit of kick and run from them, and a bit of giving the ball away cheaply by us.

Half time saw an impassioned plea from the management to up our levels of determination and drive. AJ arrived and duly slotted into centreback with Laurence moving into the holding role. James and Joe swapped to try and get Joe more involved.

Having switched to a 4-4-2 (who needs the holding midfielder against such terrible opposition) we were just beginning to assert our authority when the first of many calamities occurred. A long ball was launched into the area and not dealt with leaving Gab stuck on his own line with no choice other than to scoop the ball over his shoulder using his hands. Unsurprisingly the ref spotted this, gave a penalty and Gab was dismissed. One of the (many) old c8nts from DB duly slotted home leaving us 1 0 down and with 10 men. The chances begun to come for us though. James from a corner and Laurence should have scored when through 1 on 1. For the record, Laurence and his quiff are a great addition to the club but he is a centreback, not a striker. It was clear defending wasn’t a priority for Spartans at this stage – made even clearer by AJs dismissal with 15 minutes to go. In obvious attempts to wind AJ up he was battered by numerous elbows before retaliating with his own cheeky dig. Cue a red card a piece and suddenly it was 9 versus 10. The game was now stretched in searing heat on a massive pitch – the management looked around to change things up but without subs it was pretty tough. Luca came back on and we switched to a 3-3-2 formation (I think) searching for that elusive equaliser. As we entered injury time a great passing move which started with Rob in our own half ended with Laurence crossing for Nick at the back post. He missed from 1 yard, but then managed to score on the rebound from 6 inches. Wild celebrations followed with James trying to get the ball to grab a winner – oh and Rob was sent off. Yes, we were down to 8 with Rob dismissed for a second yellow. With all the confusion even Jim couldn’t work out a suitable formation so we settled for 4-3-0 and saw the last few minutes out with ease.

Everyone back to Happy Valley Bar and Grill for fun times, beer and pizza. I think we visited all our sponsors through the night but to be honest I can’t be sure.

What did we learn this week? DBFC are really sh8t and we should beat them with ease. 1pm kick offs in Ma On Shan are problematic. The management need to control themselves better on the side lines and spend less time running on the pitch. Having 11 players on the pitch is over-rated.

Seriously? As it turned out it was a point gained but it is frustrating because with our pool of talent we should beating this wife-swapping morons all the way back to Lantau. We are better than how we performed on Saturday but what can we expect when we turn up with 11 men. Moves have been made to ensure no more early kick offs. Thanks to those who did make the effort and journey!

Happy Valley Bar and Grill Man of the Match: Seanie for his role in a 2 man defence (could have been Jim but he berated the management)
Happy Valley Bar and Grill Mug of the Day: Piero for not bringing his girlfriend and Nick Day for his hot feet.

We have no game next weekend so enjoy your Spartan-less Saturday and stay fit!