"Hello and Welcome to University Challenge .."
I am your host for this evening, Bamber Pangscoigne and we have an exciting match up today. The home team from The Bay of Sand we have The University, with such illuminati’s studying: Eskimo Cave Paintings from modern day Alaska, The Impact of Lycra and Spandex in pre-Raphaelite Society, Grass and the chemical similarities to candy floss and the dissection of the complete classic works of Bagpuss and the marvellous mechanical mouse organ.
The challengers are from The Wanchai Footlights the University of Spartanicus, with studies ranging from: Cocktails and Shooters-A study of 20th Century alchemy, Concrete food -Art or post-modernist expressionism, The archeological discovery of ancient sportswear for Medieval animals, Valhalla vs Mt. Olympus-a fly-on-the-wall expose of Gods in the home.
"Ok and my starter for 10-who lost 5-0 to University not 2 weeks ago with first teamers?"
…BUZZZZ…. Bobby Tsang currently taking 3 years out-
"Spartans" ….CORRECT 10 POINTS "
Who will feature in the Back 4 for Spartans this time" – BZZZZ….Bobby Tsang for Spartanicus –
"I am sorry that is incorrect…the answer is Kevin Chan, Rick Ogden, Imran Khaliq, Scouse Lee"
" Who will be in midfield that was not there in the 5-0 embarrassment"
BZZZZZ….Steve Wong currently studying the Effects of Overtly Effeminate music on the Masses…"3: Lionel Maung, Paul Hoy and Peter Tsang.
"Open question, who will be on the original team sheet but injured himself whilst warming up thus proving to be the unfittest man in HK…
oh I’m sorry that question is now invalid" We are now onto the Mathematics round –
"What 2 players will score their first goals for the Spartans, 1 from an amazing visionary substitution from the masterful Tactician and Assistant Manager" –
BZZZZ….Alan Shum, currently studying Nocturnal Dancing in post-Collonial Disco’s-
" Paul Hoy following up to "sole" the ball home from a keeper’s fumble and the new-comer Oliver Thirlwall with a rounding of the keeper before slipping the ball home on his debut.." –
Correct 10 points and a bonus prize of free tickets to Rick’s Cafe for 1 year.
I can offer another point for the correct answer to how many goals the forwards didn’t score and who didn’t score them…
BZZZZ…Colin Kong currently studying Advanced Aging and the impact on a Youth’s Body…"Zero: the Masters of Missing are Alan Wong and Danny Tsang…."
Correct, 1 point and a life-time supply of Capstan full-strenghth non-filters and glucose energy bars.
Final Round-Physics: "If Rick Man and Tony Chan are travelling at 15kmph+ to a direct point on an unmarked axis, and one has shouted for the ball what is the exact outcome on point of impact, bearing in mind that one is a model" –
BZZZZZ…Kevin Chan, currently Studying the symbiosis of Defence by Wing Chung and Football…" this should be a clean take for the goalkeeper…however, factoring in the temperament and vacant space residing in the head of a model, a clash of heads resulting in the immediate loss of memory (Goldfish Syndrome) for Rick Man and a lump the size of a Kinder Surprise on the brow of Tony Chan." …Well done Kevin.
And at the end of the rounds the winners are University Spartanicus. They will be progress to the last 16 of the Challenge. Many thanks to the team and those in the supporting substitution roles….Tony Choi, studying Muscle and Madness-a combination for the 21st Century; Chris Lau, studying Primordial underwear as worn by Amoebas; Ming Lane, studying the influence of studying on those who study; Oliver Thirlwall, introducing an Introspective Outlook on the Outback from Inside an Out-house.
Thankyou and goodnight….