From our China correspondent……

Henry, I though it was a shame you left this bit on the editing room floor….

"……at 50 minutes Paul Hoy was scythed down by Ben Gregory in a clinically efficient manner (gangle footed mis-timed foul might be a more appropriate description but we shan’t quibble over minor details). At 52 minutes afor-mention Ben Gregory turned his back on a forthcoming Tony Choi hump up field (‘get rid’ was the cultured cry of the Sunday 9) and proceeded to sprint (amble) back up field to continue his contribution to Henry’s "tight-as-a-gnat’s-chuff" 4-3-1-1 Pine Tree formation. Passing the recently abused Mr.Hoy, Gregory was struck forcibly in the face with some considerable power, thus triggering emotions of victimisation and retributional angst. However, before a confrontation of chav-like posturing and aggressive discourse good ensue, some lighting fast synaptic processes kicked in and Gregory realised in an instant that he had in fact been slapped full in the mush by a 1kg lump of sh*t.  And the Confucian moral of the story?: ‘sometimes, though not often, it is preferable to be hit in the face by a massive dollop of cow-cr*p.’ "

Mongolians use Cow droppings for cooking fuel "Cow droppings are best, since they burn hotter and longer." Oyana (1997) .